Merry Christmas everyone!  We sent out a few hard copies this year, but I would like to be as environmentally friendly as possible and send you this holiday note.

So here is what’s happening:

We were all sick the last few weeks with the girls getting the worst of it (RSV).   We had close to 20″ of the snow the last few days which made shoveling our 20 degree pitch driveway a whole lot of fun.  Hampton ended the first half of his preschool year with a very 4 year old skit which included the teacher singing and the kids wondering why they were not able to eat cookies until she was done :)  Gavin is coming into his own and is a very talkative 2 year old (though he takes a bit of time to warm up to people unlike his brother).  Work is going very well for me at MathWorks and Carrie is meeting lots of new moms here in Milford. We are looking forward to having Dolly and Rick for our first ever Christmas at home.  We are also expecting some old friends to join us at New Years.  All in all this has been an exciting and busy year for our family and with a new house and two new children it has been nothing short of eventful.  I will get plenty of pictures up by the new year, but until then have a very happy and safe holiday.  I wish you all the best! You deserve it.

Carrie and I are constantly blown away by what life brings our way and as ridiculous as life gets sometimes, we are happier than ever. Call it the new house, the new babies, time, age, medication, or wine, we are glad to be in this time and place. Hopefully you too have the chance to enjoy that feeling and with thanksgiving right around the corner, perhaps you can spread some of it around.

As for what has happened since early August…the girls are doing well and hovering around 7 - 7.5 lbs. It was determined they had a food allergy so we have been doing our best to adjust to that with medicine and prescription formula (a very similar problem to what Gavin had). Until we fixed that the girls were crying any time they were awake which made for a very difficult household

So all is well. We are learning how to be a family of six, getting into the twin baby groove, and enjoying our new home. The fall will be a time for reflection and calm as we enjoy our contempt after surviving the past few months. Other items to note: Carrie will be 30 on 10/6 and Carrie and I will be traveling to PA for Chris Keiper’s wedding (we are really looking forward to that). We scammed Carrie’s sister and her boyfriend into taking care of the team for the weekend

Look forward to some galleries in the next few weeks and happy fall!

I think we are going to be a bit frightened to bring them home, away from constant observation and machines. I feel we may even revert to our first child fear status. But we will get over it, life will go on, and the craziness of a four child household will set in, in which case the “what the hell were we thinkings” will have time to set in. So now we are completely out of the trouble zone, at least in my mind. Now we just need the OK from the docs to bring them home and start our life.

What and insane experience this has all been. Certainly I feel Carrie and I have held up much better than I would have thought. Carrie has been especially string given the fact her body is raging with post-pregnancy hormone madness. What gets me now is that there is a couple who had twin boys born on the same day, under the same circumstances and they are experiencing the same thing as us. They have one boy here and one at MGH with very similar issues. We run into them all of the time and chat about what is going on, I feel so bad for them for some reason and perhaps I should be feeling that for myself, but I don’t. I guess perspective is the answer to that one.

Now on to medical care, what a pain. I mean obviously the doctors and nurses are doing a good job, because the girls are getting better. However you have to be such an advocate for your child. Most of the staff want to be as clinical as possible, watching the numbers and going by the book. This is understandable but observation and experience goes a long way. I have noticed that the best doctors and nurses are the ones who take observation and experience into account, who bend the rules to accelerate recovery. There is also the parent factor, if we push hard enough, they listen to what we want, but that can be stressful sometimes. Anyway its an annoyance but not necessarily are huge problem. We have always and will always attempt to do what is best for our children.

So if the girls are together this afternoon, I will take some pictures and do another post. Thank you all again for being so wonderful, we really do like the feedback and it makes us feel better that so many of you are pulling for us. i wish i could say I was religious and was praying, but I am not. I have faith in the universe and my childrens’ will to survive. I have faith in my family and friends that they they will be there to support us. Faith in ourselves and positive action and feeling will get us through. Its amazing how far a smile can throw you.

I then headed over to Mass General hoping Lila would have her chest tube removed. What did happen is that it was turned off but left in for safety. There were many philosophical disagreements amongst a few different doctors and nurses on this one. The problem with both the girls is that they have very high respiratory rates (which decreases when they are with mom). The disagreement comes with the doctors/nurses who only rely on data from the machines and the ones who take a more observational/experience approach. Basically they averaged and said lets wait a set amount of time, see if anything happens with her vitals, then do something. That time came and went, an x-ray was done (which showed all is well) and the hope is that they will pull the tube tonight (its not being used or needed right now). Its not major, but sort of a mental milestone to have it removed. She was also able to take breast milk today through a bottle so that was very good. I spent about 7 hours at MGH just being supportive, talking with docs and nurses, and mulling through the silence of her room (which is twice the size of Carries, that still amazes me). Our awesome nurse (the one who admitted Lila) Keri is on tonight so I know she is in good hands. I would say there was a marked improvement in her health today, she was even up and alert a few times which was very nice for daddy to see.

I headed back to NW at 9:15pm, showered, ate some hospital mac and cheese, and then received the good news that Mandi has been moved to the other side of the NICU where the more stable babies are, her Oxygen has been lowered and she no longer requires the heating lamp. Things are looking good on that front.

Carrie is discharged tomorrow, which is sort of sad, because the babies won’t be coming with us and are still at different hospitals. The hope is that Carrie will be able to board here as a mom and not a patient so we won’t have to keep making the 40 - 60 minute drive from home each day (depending on which hospital we go to). She is planning on going home after her discharge to spend some time with the boys who miss her very much, then she will come back to NW to be with Mandi. If all goes well at MGH Lila may be able to come over the NW to be with her sister soon and that would be great. Since they have not been together since they were born 3 days ago. So I am off to sleep on my crappy cot. Enjoy the pictures below and rest assured the girls are improving and hopefully will be able to come home soon.

Yesterday morning was spent with Carrie and Mandi at Newton-Welsley. Carrie has been able to hold her in the NICU since she is only on Oxygen for assistance. She is currently stable (as she has been since she got there) and we are expecting a turn around hopefully today. That’s an interesting word, expecting. Waiting sucks and sincerely, its the only thing you can do. There is not magic button they can press which will make things better, all you do is wait and hope. This has the consequence of making time creep by at a snails pace. The girls are about 2.5 days old, however i feel as if I have been going at this for weeks. That little fact makes the whole situation suck more, since my expectations are based on time, which I am having trouble perceiving.

Anyway, yesterday at around 9:30am I headed over to MGH to hang out with Lila. She is also stable and although she is in a little plastic case (I will try and get some pictures up later) I can observe her from her bedside. I was able to change her first poopy diaper yesterday, which normally wouldn;t be a big deal, however it felt like a hige milestone at the time. At around 1:00pm she was given the go-ahead to have her breathing tube removed. That went perfect and she is now breathing on her own comfortably, pretty much in the same stage (if not a bit better) than her sister. I stayed with her for another hour and then headed back to NW to get Carrie.

That’s right, we broke out of jail! Just kidding, Carrie’s doctor gave her permission to leave the hospital for a little while and got to MGH to see Lila. This had the consequence of making her feel much better, since she was able to ask questions and even feed Lila a little breast milk through her feed tube. Not quite breast feeding, but better than nothing.

Everyone has been great, obviously we are acquiring our favorite nurses and doctors at both hospitals, but everyone is very capable and I am very happy with the state of our 21st century medical system. Nothing is perfect but these folks are doing way better than average at a very difficult job. The head doc over at MGH was in fact one of the best doctors I have ever spoken with. He had the best bedside manner I have ever heard and I think Carrie and I felt like we were injected with a huge dose of happy after he left the room yesterday. We definitely need more people like that.

So anyway as of this morning things are looking up, I can’t say that they are good, because that would mean we know when they are coming home, and we don’t. We just know its probably not earlier than Friday, and I can’t say I am too happy about that. But I am happy that they are alive and look to be improving. Thanks again to you all, especially the staff at Newton-Welsley and Mass General Hospital, you are doing a great job.

Now stop charging me for parking I will post some pics later today.

Now at this point in our ridiculous roller coaster of a day I am having trouble fighting back all of the emotions, especially when we make it downstairs and the boys are there ready to give their mommy and daddy great big hugs. I almost lost it. Carrie and I decided that we had to let the boys see their sisters, regardless of their state. So we explained their conditions, asked if they had any questions, and headed on up again for a short visit. The boys were elated to see their sisters, however they were a bit disconcerted with the medical apparatus surrounding the twins. They observed and touched, then we said our goodbyes and headed downstairs once again. When we got downstairs it was agreed that the boys could have some daddy time and we would head home together (leaving Carrie’s mom who has been watching them, at the hospital) for some lunch, daddy play time, and a nap. I said my goodbyes, packed the boys in the car, and headed home for a few hours.

We were on the road for about fifteen minutes when I receive a very distressed call from Carrie. Lila was not getting enough Oxygen and something was gong to have to be done. Air was leaking into her chest cavity from someplace and there were three things which may occur: 1) penetrate her chest with a needle and siphon out the air, they did this twice and it kept occurring so on to 2) Provide her with a surfactant to promote lung cell proliferation, not immediate enough so the final case 3) insert a chest tube to constantly siphon off the air. Now you have to understand, this was explain to my wife who in tear explained it to me while I was driving the kids home. All the while they are performing these fairly emergent procedures as we spoke (we were unaware). So I have to continue home, no choice…the kids can’t go back to the hospital in this mess. I get home and make lunch, fight to keep it straight, and wait for Carrie’s mom to make it back to take care of the kids.

OK so now Carrie’s mom is home and before I leave Hampton tells me he is worried about his sisters (me too) and my heart sinks. I have to explain to him not to worry (he is freekin 4) and that he can call anytime he feels this way and we will talk about it. I compose myself and race off to the hospital.

Who knows what I am thinking now, not great stuff thats for sure. I get to the hospital and no one knows anything, I call the NICU and they just brush me off. Carrie is pretty upset at this point and so we decide to just walk up there and find out what is going on. We blast through the doors and I am thinking the worst, but she looks OK to me, minus the fact she now has a chest tube in and is on a ventilator. There is some doctor talk and I am settled a bit, however now we are worried about the same thing happening to Mandi. We have some friends and family by, we calm a bit, and we prepare for what is coming next.

OK, why I am I sitting at MGH? Well Newton-Welsley does not have a level 3 NICU (its only 2) and you are not allowed to have an intubated baby for more than 4 hours in a level 2 NICU. Soooo, there is a huge operation at hand, they show up with this star trek enterprise looking apparatus to transport Lila to the new hospital. The process is amazing and the people from MGH are excellent. Its a bit difficult to watch this process but after its over I feel pretty good about her level of care.

And now I am here, in this fantastic new hospital in the middle of Boston, Lila is doing great with all of her high tech equipment, and I am happy. I just got done conversing with the great staff here and Lila’s nurse is just about as good as it gets. I called over the other hospital and Mandy has been stable, which is good. Hopefully she won’t have to go through this same ordeal. It 12:17am as I finish writing this. I am going to head back over to be with Carrie for the remainder of the night. I certainly hope this all turns out OK. I feel good now but we really need to get these girls healthy and home. Physiologically they are great, they just need to grow into their lungs. I know I left a bunch of stuff out, but I am tired and there is still a long road ahead. The short of it is that at this moment things look good but it was not always so. I will write again as soon as I get some free time. Thank you all for the well wishes, comments, text messages, e-mails, phone calls, and visits. It means the world.

All went as well as it could have and Carrie Ann is feeling quite good considering the circumstances. I wanted all of you to know that things are going well, I promise to post some more pictures and to give updates on both the girls as soon as I know more.

Again, thanks to all of you for being so compassionate, we love you all!